You Can Call Me Mary Sue
by SunlightShrine
Summary: A strange woman appears in Hyrule for seemingly no reason. How will this effect the very stability and natural order of the Zelda universe?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hey guys! What's up? :D**

 **So I wanted to try something a LITTLE different, step out of my boundaries you know? So... I came up with... this... XD I can't believe I typed this... but I hope it makes you laugh. x3**

 **PLEASE BE AWARE: This is a joke and not meant to be taken seriously so please be nice! :p I know this is terrible! XD  
Think of this as: This is What Not to do When You Write With An OC 101.**

* * *

In Hyrule Field, the sun began to show itself in the eastern horizon. As the vast field bathed in the morning light, a lone figure stood and cast a shadow on the grass. The shadow belonged to a young lady, barely eighteen. Her knee length, velvety, voluminous, wavy brown hair shone like an antique violin in the light. The wind allowed her hair to be lifted slightly and theatrically but gently blown about, as if it were dusting the air. When the wind settled, her hair did too and had not caught a single tangle nor imperfection.

Her flawlessly sculpted face was so radiant that it appeared to glow and her turquoise eyes were so stunning and pure one would notice they glittered. When she blinked, her long eyelashes fluttered charmingly.

Her hands were soft and incredibly feminine and youthful. She wore simple rings on some of her fingers; Her nails were naturally shiny and smooth and her cuticles were amazingly perfect.

She had such a divine figure; the perfect amount of curves. She herself was so dainty and petite that her shape could be declared a miracle. It was so gorgeous that it would make the three Golden Goddesses look plain. Her skin was soft like silk and pearly. Her dress was white with not a single speck of dirt on it, sleeveless with a sweetheart neckline that showed just a tiny bit of cleavage. The straps crisscrossed on the back and the dress itself fitted at her waist showing just enough of her lovely back. The hem of the dress hung to the gap of her thighs and A-lined so that when the wind blew, the dress would very slightly dance with the wind. She also kept a white lace parasol on her at all times.

On her delicate, pretty feet she wore dress sandals with small heels that matched her dress. They had ribbons on the toes and ankles making her look even more feminine and sweet. Her toenails were painted light pink.

She stood in front of the sunlight, which fired off rays and bursts of light like fireworks in response to her presence.

"Hyrule… what a lovely place!"

She turned and saw Hyrule Castle town in the distance and began her trek there, she did not have a map but she knew where she was despite never been here before. She was that intelligent.

A variety of flowers sprouted and bloomed magically around her as she walked. She smiled graciously, admiring the attractive scent and sight of the flowers. She was so happy she decided to dance while walking, this instantly had a positive effect on her surroundings. Birds began to fly beside her, a dead tree that she passed suddenly became full of life with healthy leaves. It went from being the ugliest tree to the most beautiful. A branch that grew a peach stretched out to her. She carefully picked the peach and munched on it ladylike. Her white teeth were perfectly aligned and she felt the fuzz of the fruit tickle her full, pink lips.

"Delicious!"

And at last she reached Hyrule Castle Town.

* * *

Upon reaching the gates of the town, she could hear the hustle and bustle from the partially opened door.

"Oh my, it sounds incredibly busy… I hope I don't get lost." She anticipated, then she pushed the door a little further open and walked in.

The second she stepped foot inside, everyone stopped what they were doing and looked in her direction. The men were ogling at her with wide eyes and the women had an assortment of reactions. There were women visibly angry and jealous because their husbands or boyfriends were gazing at her, others looked really surprised, and some appeared insecure about their own looks.

Immediately she felt bashful, she took her white lace parasol and opened it up, hiding herself from the many stares and began walking with her head somewhat lowered. Despite this, people still were stunned by how beautiful she was and some flowers managed to push their way through the concrete wherever she walked.

She reminded herself, _"Just find the shop and leave. Don't worry, it's easy!"_ She had always kept to herself and preferred to not socialize. The reason for this? Others would be so absorbed into her looks that her words would never be heard. Nobody would bother to listen because they would be so focused on her appearance. One particular attempt at socializing actually put her in danger and from that point on she did not want to feel vulnerable again. Alone, she felt safer but she was lonely and longed for companionship. It was an emotional tug-o-war. A single tear streamed down her flawless cheek. It glittered falling off her face and flew somewhat to the side from the wind.

She had drifted off into her thoughts thus didn't hear or see the galloping horse fast approaching her. Suddenly, she was harshly pounded by the steed. She hit the ground several feet away and her parasol went flying off into the sky. Luckily, she landed in a delicate flower, ladylike sitting position; but she threw her arms up over her head and faced the ground as if she were in a tornado shelter.

 _"Oh no! How embarrassing! Why me…?"_

She didn't notice the rider and several guards both fighting to control the horse.

"Oh my goodness are you all right miss!?" The rider dismounted, allowing the horse to be restrained by the guards.

She peeked at who was speaking to her and couldn't believe her eyes, it was Princess Zelda. Fluster surged through her body and she got in a kneeling position, "Oh, your highness! I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention!"

The princess replied, "No, no, no. I'm the one who should be sorry. My horse just got out of control and I don't know what came over him… Are you hurt at all?"

She looked over herself, there wasn't a single mark on her, "No, I think I'm all right." Her dress was still clean without a tear, as she landed delicately.

Zelda sighed in relief, "Oh that's wonderful! I would have been mad at myself for a long time if I had injured you! Are you sure you're all right? Do you need anything?"

She looked at the Princess of Hyrule curiously. At this point, there was a huge crowd surrounding them and she could see the guards at the horse staring at her, completely still.

"What is your name? I don't believe I've seen you around here before." Zelda asked.

She hesitated, but answered shyly, "My… my name is… Marybelle Suesanna Serenity Harmony."

Zelda repeated it, "Marybelle Suesanna Serenity Harmony… what a lovely name."

Marybelle blushed at the compliment from the Princess, "It… It's nothing special…" She giggled nervously, "I know it's kind of a mouthful so… you can call me Mary Sue."

"Mary Sue… okay." Zelda smiled.

A guard approached the women and addressed Mary Sue, "Miss Mary Sue, you are by far the loveliest lady that this town had seen."

Because she no longer had her parasol, Mary Sue instead lowered her head to allow her luminous brown tresses to hide her blushing face.

Zelda comforted her, "You mustn't be ashamed Mary Sue, your beauty is truly magnificent. I think it's a blessing."

"It's… not as great as you would think…" Mary Sue mumbled, "Besides, I don't think I'm all that special. I'm just a person." She looked down at the flowers at her feet.

The princess put her hand on her shoulder, "I was returning to the castle for lunch, please join us."

"Wh-what!?" Mary Sue replied, "Oh no I couldn't… I don't want to cause any trouble."

"No, no, please, I insist. Consider it as my apology for running you over."

Mary Sue felt so grateful at the offer that THE Princess of Hyrule was giving her, humbly she accepted, "Okay, thank you very much Princess."

Zelda giggled, "Please, you may call me Zelda."

Mary Sue responded, "Yes, your highness… I mean… Zelda." She felt a little awkward still, but happy.

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 **Author's Note: SHE'S SO DELICATE IT'S CRAZY! XD**

 **I feel I should remind you again that this is a joke. Please don't take it seriously! :P  
I hope this made you smile :D  
I might continue this because I laughed while writing this x3. Can you blame me? **

**Later!**


	2. Chapter 2

Every solider in the castle fell down at Mary Sue's feet as she walked by. Luckily Zelda didn't seem too bothered, in fact, she seemed pretty amused. The solider that was accompanying Zelda had left her side to be by Mary Sue.

Mary Sue gazed around in shock, she had never been in such an extravagant place and she felt undeserving.

"Princess Zelda." She spoke, "This castle is fantastic."

"Why thank you Mary Sue, it's lovely to hear you say that." Zelda smiled.

The lead solider announced, "Mary Sue! Sweet lovely Mary Sue! You have the voice that could give competition to the most glorified angels!"

"Forget that!" Another one spoke up, "She would outshine all of them any day!"

"Of course! Of course! What was I thinking?"

Mary Sue giggled sweetly, "You are all very kind, but I must say that I am no angel."

Everyone gasped.

"You not an angel? That is absolute blasphemy!" The leader argued.

A lower rank soldier also disagreed, "Indeed! You are so beautiful and lovely! As a matter of fact, there will be a festival in Hyrule soon. I would be absolutely be beyond honored if you were to be my date my lovely lady." He tenderly took her hand and kissed it.

Instantly all of the soldiers were jealous and thus began a huge squabble over her. Soldiers argued over the admirable traits they had and why one would make a better date than the other. Mary Sue retreated to Zelda's side and told her, "This happens wherever I go… it's troublesome."

Zelda smiled, "It's understandable why this would happen. Do not worry Mary Sue, you'll come to appreciate your gift soon."

"But…"

Before she could say otherwise, a young man wearing a green tunic entered the room. He noticed Mary Sue first by Zelda's side and approached the women, calmly walking past the fighting soldiers.

"Oh Link! You have returned!" Zelda enthused, "Was there enough monsters to fight outside?"

"A few, but since Ganondorf had gone they've been going away. Never mind that, who is this?" He looked at Mary Sue.

"This is Marybelle Suesanna Serenity Harmony."

Mary Sue bashfully replied, "H-Hi… that's my full name but you can call me Mary Sue."

Link smiled, "Hi, nice to meet you Mary Sue." Afterward he frowned and looked slightly away.

 _"_ _Oh no, did I do something wrong?"_ Mary Sue worried.

"What's the matter Link?" Zelda asked.

"I… I don't know but I have this strange feeling… a strong feeling like the order of the universe is about to become twisted or something…"

"Oh Link, you're probably just tired. Don't push yourself too hard." Mary Sue comforted.

"Thanks Mary Sue." The hero felt a sense of incredible comfort at her words in that saintly voice.

All of a sudden, the whole castle began to shake. Everyone had to struggle to say on their feet.

"What's going on!?" Zelda shouted.

A castle guard ran in, "Link! Zelda!" He winked at Mary Sue, "Lovely Mary Sue." Then returned to his frantic voice, "It's Ganondorf! He's escaped and now he's come back! He's destroying everything! Demanding that the hero and princess come out right now to face him!"

Zelda summoned her rapier, "Let's go!"

Link drew his sword, "Bring it on!"

Just as they were about to take off Mary Sue called out, "Wait! Let me help!"

Everyone was stunned, "What!?"

Link put his hands on her shoulders, "Don't go Mary Sue! You must get to safety. If you got hurt because of us we would all feel really guilty!"

"He's right." Zelda agreed, "I've already injured you once, please don't go out there."

"You didn't hurt me Zelda. Honestly it was just a little scratch." Mary Sue assured, "I want to help. Please let me."

Suddenly, a shekiah warrior appeared armed with a giant knife, "Your highness!" She noticed Mary Sue, "Well hello, who might you be?"

Link eagerly introduced her, "Impa, this is Mary Sue. Zelda brought her here."

A solider noted, "Isn't she lovely Miss Impa?"

Impa smiled, "She is very. Allow me to lead you to safety, Ganondorf is dangerous."

"But…" Mary Sue tried to protest but Impa took her arm and began leading her away, "Don't argue Mary Sue. We don't want you getting hurt."

The place where Impa led Mary Sue was quite lovely. It was a large luxurious room with protective walls and a small window. The windows glass was reinforced so she could still see out of it while being protected. There was a big luxury bed with fancy dresser drawers and a cute mirror. A tasteful amount of extravagant furniture decorated the place as well. There was an ever so slight lovely smell to the room and the carpet was most comfortable on her feet.

Mary Sue felt unworthy to be treated like such royalty, but the place was amazing and beautiful.

A knock at the door followed by, "Mary Sue?" came from the door. She responded, "Yes? Come in."

"Oh no, I couldn't do that. This room is for you only." The guard answered, "We created it when you arrived using the Triforce! By the way, will you marry me Mary Sue?"

Mary Sue came out of the room, "I can't do that sir, I'm not ready to be committed to anyone. You all have been very kind. But I can't stand by and let this land go down! I'm going out to help!"

The guard tried to stop her but she ran out. The sky was no longer blue but was now shrouded in dark red clouds, all was chaos. People were panicked and things were ruined. A cow stood amidst and was drawn to Mary Sue, she approached her and granted her with milk without playing the song.

"Mary Sue! You must help Link and Zelda! They're fighting with Ganondorf in the field!" A citizen shouted.

"What!? No! I can't let them face him alone!" She ran out to Hyrule Field immediately leaving behind a trail of flowers at her feet. Everything was dreary and dead, but upon her arrival everything she was near perked up better than before. A giant flower sprouted right in front of her and granted her angel wings! Now she looked like a true angel.

There he was, the evil Gerudo warrior Ganondorf, laughing.

"Hahaha! Hyrule will soon be mine!"

Link and Zelda were facing him, "You will not have Hyrule!" Zelda yelled.

Angry, Mary Sue walked purposefully toward the standoff.

Ganondorf began charging energy in the palm of his hand. Mary Sue stepped in front of Link and Zelda much to their surprise.

"Halt!" She ordered, Ganondorf stopped.

"How could you do such a thing to this beautiful land?" She demanded to know.

Ganondorf showed fluster for possibly the first time in his life, "Oh… my… aren't you such an attractive girl."

"This is wrong! You can't take over Hyrule! This is a wonderful land of many good people!" She flapped her wings once, spreading sparkly light.

Just like magic, Ganondorf ceased his charging attack, "You… you're right. I shouldn't be doing this. I'm sorry everybody."

Link and Zelda lowered their weapons.

"I have realized my wrongs. If I am to be sealed in yet another void, I will not fight. I accept this punishment." He looked at Mary Sue, "You are a lovely woman, I would stay in a void forever if that is what you wish. Tell me, what is your name?"

"My name is Marybelle Suesanna Serenity Harmony; but you can call me Mary Sue."

"Sages! Seal Ganondorf now!" Zelda commanded.

"I love you Mary Sue!" Ganondorf proclaimed, "I would take you with me, but you deserve a wonderful life!" He shrunk into a kawaii little chibi and his voice suddenly became really high pitched, "I would bake all the sweetsy yummiest cookies ever!"

Everyone looked at him weirdly and he was sucked into the void without protest.

"That was awesome…? We got to take down Ganondorf without bloodshed!" Link was puzzled but he tried to sound enthusiastic.

Zelda said, "See Mary Sue? Your beauty has now stopped Ganondorf, he'll be sealed forever now!"

Mary Sue blushed, "I guess my looks are a blessing after all…" smiling graciously. All of Hyrule's citizens rushed out and cheered for Mary Sue. She was no doubt the true hero of Hyrule. Everyone started throwing confetti, candies, and dancing.

Soon, she used her wings to levitate into the air. She flapped he wings one time and everything bloomed pretty much back to the way it was but much better. The sun was behind Mary Sue and the angels sang. The three Golden Goddesses shot by into the sky.

"Mary Sue, you are the purest Hylian!" The voice of Hylia echoed, "You shall now become the fourth Golden Goddess!"

Mary Sue was astounded, she looked at everyone else who encouraged her.

"Just a second." She said, then returned to Link and Zelda, "I'm sorry I have to leave you guys. I'll miss you all."

Zelda had tears in her eyes, "We'll never forget you Mary Sue. Now go, be the best of them all."

All the citizens cheered as Mary Sue was lifted into the sky into the arms of Hylia. She was glowing a bright and lovely gold. It was the most exquisite ever.

"Mary Sue, receive your goddesshood now!" Hylia granted, and Mary Sue became a Golden Goddess. She flew off into the sky with the other three while everyone watched. Hyrule was always happy and peaceful for the rest of all eternity as Mary Sue watched over them beside Hylia, now happy she had found her purpose.

Link and Zelda married and lived happily ever after. Then BABIES EVER AFTER! The End :P

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 **Author's Note: Uh yeah x3 I hope you um... enjoyed this? XD Made you laugh at least lol I hope this didn't kill too many brain cells XD**

 **Link: What in all of Hyrule is this!? This is supposed to be a fanfiction?**

 **Me: Oh it was just a joke Link!**

 **Link: I figured. But you better hope Ganondorf doesn't find out you made him into a little chibi in this story.**

 **Ganondorf: WHAT!?**

 **Me: Oh snap, I better run now! Later guys! I'll try to update more! BYE! *runs off***

 **Ganondorf: HEY! GET BACK HERE AUTHOR!**

 **Louie: Go Ganondorf! Hit her with that pathetic little attack you did in Ocarina of Time!**

 **Link: What the-!? What are you doing here? Get out of here!**

 **If you have read all my Pikmin stories, you'll get that XD Okay later!**


End file.
